Time Flies

Time-Flies

Hi!

It’s me…

No, really! I’m back!!

It’s been a BUSY year! So many things in my life have changed and I’m enjoying the journey.

It has been a year full of ups and downs. I moved twice, my husband and I separated, I found the most amazing job and I’m currently dating one of my best friends. I couldn’t be happier, in fact, I don’t think I ever have been! It hasn’t been easy, but since when is it? I must say, through meditation, centering and really trusting myself, I’ve come a long way. I won’t settle, and why should I?

I finally sat down and wrote out my life goals and made a bucket list. How fun is that? It’s super fun, let me tell you. I’ve come to the realization that EVERYTHING I want in life is TOTALLY ACHEIVABLE! In the past I may have doubted myself and as a result self-sabatoged. Not anymore. I’m aiming for the stars and I’m gonna hit the sun, baby! I’d like to say I found all of these things within myself, by myself, but I truly believe becoming a mother opened my eyes to so many things. If this is what living feels like, I was merely existing before.

While we’re talking about it, can I gush about my adorable kid? I may have mom-bias, but I’ve never met a more intelligent child. He’s almost two and his comprehension level is amazing. My beeb speaks two languages, and speaks them WELL! He can figure out complex tasks, takes direction well, and man can he get around! I’ve never felt more proud. If you’re not a parent, totally give it a try. It’s the most gratifying experience (and will also teach you a HUGE lesson in patience).

Anyway, thanks for sifting through another rambling🙂 I hope you find yourself blessed today and may your spirit vibrate high and bask in light!

~E

Happy New Year (I’m late, as usual…)

Ah, happy 2012! I’m only about a month late…there are just so many things happening, so many adventures beginning!

Things have changed for yours truly in a way I never thought they would. I came to a fork in the road, and my path to a 90 degree turn! While I’ll still be traveling and exploring the world…I’m going to have to do it with a permanent sidekick. Yes, one that will love me forever and hopefully look like me too. Operation Baby Czech has deployed ETA August 22, 2012!

This has led to another huge decision, rather than prepare to head off to a remote piece of rain forest and live with a shamanistic tribe, I’ll be (at least for now) choosing a more domestic path and packing my bags for a slightly more civilized location. Hello passport stamp from the Czech Republic! My fiance and the father of this growing bundle of joy hales from the ol’ CZ and I would like my child to be born with dual citizenship. While I don’t know how hard that would be to attain from this side of the pond, I know it will be very easy with a birth in the homeland. It’s going to be 6 quick months of attempting to learn the Czech language, a huge move, and giving birth with my mother-in-lay, my (will be) husband, and hopefully a wonderful friend (Heather!). It will be an adventure to say the least. I will try to blog more before I go, but I can promise I will be B-U-S-Y!

Don’t worry though, I’ll be blogging every moment of my journey in Czech😉

Forever Seeking,

Ellie

Simply Superfluous

adj. Superfluous: serving no useful purpose; having no excuse for being, “a life essentially purposeless” …..let me stop there….Wow, no one EVER wants to be labeled that, and while there are many different definitions of the word, none of them are really “positive”. They all speak to excess and some unnecessary thing. I sat down to blog today, thinking I would follow some kind of outline that spoke to how people gauge success and that it’s all relative, and for some reason all I could think of was how the moral majoratiy would answer that success is the big house, or the new car, or having all this extra money to blow. My sister was talking this morning about taking a test and one of the essay questions was about success as you experience it in your personal life and she couldn’t think of anyone or anything to write about. I was kind of shocked because she is a stay at home mom of two awesome kids! She’s raised well-behaved little future contributors to society and they turned out pretty cute too! Is that not a measure of success? Back to the word superfluous, all of the things that people general state to be characteristics of a successful individual are things that you just really don’t NEED… Do you really need 4 cars and a 5000 sq ft house? A lot of these individuals don’t have time to spend with their families because they are always on the go looking for “bigger and better” and ways to be more “successful”. Is monetary wealth really all that important? At that point, when all you see are dollar signs, and all lil’ Julia sees is someone too busy to even bother asking you to play dress up…have YOU become “superfluous”? Are you a “necessary” part of ANYTHING? I’m willing to bet that whatever your job description that’s raking you in 300k/yr is still something that can be filled by someone else. My point is, in the business world, no one is indispensable. If all of the banks in the world failed and you were left with your family (if you have one) and your friends ( I mean REAL friends) and it was, like, the end of days….how far would you make it? To me, success is determined by who you are as a person and the relationships you have when EVERYTHING is stripped away. Being emotionally, spiritually, and companion-ly “rich” is, to me, the REAL gauge of success!

Now on to some better stuff, a few weeks ago I was fortunate enough to get to be a part of a wedding for an old friend in Wisconsin. It was halloween weekend and I was missing out on the “biggest party weekend of the year” according to my friends as I packed my car and made the 9 hour trip north. I’m going to use pictures (and video) to attempt to describe what I can only say in words as an experience that definitely added a huge chunk-o-cash to my spiritual and emotionally life savings! When I arrived after a grueling drive and working the entire previous day, myself and a few friends drove up to Cape Point, WI and watched the sunrise over Lake Michigan. We hiked through some gorgeous foliage in search of the perfect spot to witness the incredible event. The hike was dangerous in my ridiculously slippery, clearly not made for hiking, shoes, but it was well worth the impending end of my physical self to watch the breath-taking center of our solar system “rise” from across the lake. After the sunrise, I was given a few moments alone by my hiking party to meditate and reflect in the chilly early morning. The serenity and calm experienced by sitting on a weathered rock, mere feet from the crashing waves, with the warmth of the sun shining on my face is something I will to all of you at least once in your life (preferably regularly :)!) I’m going to end my words here, and let the pictures do the talking, the last thing you’ll see is the video of me attempting to navigate in my horrible footwear haha. That being said, go forward and be TRULY successful in life (after all, you DESERVE it!), don’t let your tombstone read “Here she lies, Simply Superfluous, maybe we should’ve planted a tree instead”.

Forever Seeking,

Ellie

Wisconsin October 28th Sunrise at Lake Michigan, Door County

Good thing it's shallow in this spot...

Multiply this by 1,000 and you might begin to fathom how gorgeous this was in person!

The horrible shoes and the AMAZING spot I sat to meditate.

In my “happy place”

Look around you, like right now, for real, look around. What do you see?

I know it’s a weird question, but I hope what you saw was warm and inviting! I hope when you looked around you saw something that made you FEEL those tingling fuzzy sensations. When I look around I see a place that I have built for myself, I see pictures of memories that mean SO MUCH to me! I FEEL so blessed to have been able to experience those things. I see my hard work, I see my time spent. I see my puppy! My lil’ baby Dobby, he’s the sweetest lil’ thing! I see the walls, walls I have covered with fabrics and patterns. I see a place that reflects who I am, a place that is welcoming. I see a space that I can dream as big as I want to, I see a space that sparks my imagination. I FEEL in this space, I feel inspired, I feel comfort, I feel at peace. I am free to do whatever I please in my space. I’m totally in my “happy place”. I’m PROUD to be able to say these things. My space has been a great teacher, a muse, and a refuge. My space is merely a mile marker however, and someday it will be a memory (a GREAT one) and I will think of it when I am writing from another space where I am doing even better things. I see my family, my friends, and loves of my life! One day I will be able to tell them stories about new friends I have met along the way. The point of this is, LOVE your space! Create a place that’s GOOD for you, and find some way to make it better! Use your space as a stepping stone. It doesn’t have to mean you’re going to move across the planet and set up space somewhere else, it might just mean that you move up within yourself and realize one more goal. Every day push for more! Every day remember to help someone else! Everyday look around you and relish in the love you feel emanating from the radiant space you’ve created!

If you are looking around and what you see is cold, lonely, and void, FILL IT UP! Fill it up with something good! Bring a smile home everyday, even when you don’t want to! Write an encouraging message on a piece of paper and hang it on the fridge so you have to see it every time you pass by! Do it for yourself! Build your own “happy place”. Goodness and positivity start inside yourself. YOU can affect positive change on EVERYONE around you, give it a shot. Your “happy place” doesn’t HAVE to be something tangible, but I would suggest bringing some of those good vibes to your physical everyday life. What better way to positively influence yourself than by surrounding yourself with a constant barrage of positive images? And why not make your “escape” your reality😉

My email signature at work says “A smile will brighten your mood and change the tone of your day, try one on”. True story, 1 out of 1 me’s says it will brighten a room too🙂 Liven up the place and then get out and liven up someone else’s life. Give them a smile and I guarantee they’ll take it home and brighten their space too…or your money back😉

Forever Seeking,

Ellie

Thinking outside the box…

How often are we told “be innovative”, “use your imagination”, “think outside the box”? What I’m about to go over shows just how much people really DON’T think outside the box and can’t SEE outside the box either.

I said yesterday I was going to talk about how the people around me reacted to my revelation that I was going to pursue an “out of the box” lifestyle. To fully understand their reaction to me saying this I’ll give you some background on myself:

Immediately after graduating high school I went to school to be a medical assistant, I had aspirations of being a cardiac surgeon, but after some trouble in high school, those quickly went out the window and I settled for something that would pay well, and still keep me in the medical field. I didn’t really want to go to college right after high school, I honestly don’t know what my plans were otherwise, but I did it anyway. Needless to say, my heart just wasn’t in it. I had a 4.0, but I slept through class and was quickly bored with whatever we were studying. I couldn’t manage to focus on the lectures or even find myself interested enough to take good notes. How I had a 4.0 I couldn’t possibly tell you (I think I’m just really good a retaining information to take tests). Anyway shortly after starting college, I left college. I told myself I would go back someday, and I used the excuse that since I hadn’t been living at home since I was 16, I just needed to work more because I needed the money. I broke up with my boyfriend soon after and found myself bouncing from place to place, I like to call it “house hopping”. I didn’t have a stable job and I wasn’t living a very good lifestyle. I wasn’t a horrible degenerate by any means, but I did continue on with bad habits from high school and my drinking habit developed into a problem, I never got into any major trouble and I was a pretty good kid, but I was heading downhill. There’s the “bad”, now here’s the “good”. I’ve always had some deep need to help people around me, even if it means I’m not helping myself. When I did eventually find stability, I had a tendency to take in people around me, and try to “fix” them. I have always been the kind of person to let anyone sleep on my couch, or eat the last pack of ramen noodles if they needed it. However, this “good” quality was a downfall for me, because instead of looking at myself and picking myself up, I usually ended up a little further down at the end of these “projects”. Now let’s skip forward to about 2 years ago, some kind of “adult” switch flipped in my head and I decided that I really needed to get my act together. At this point I had already been gradually climbing that slippery slope to adulthood and put on the front of responsibility, but I still partied every night. I finally decided enough was enough, and set out to spend my money on other things that WEREN’T in a bottle. In a nutshell, I was on a mission to be successful and show people around me that I was more than a party girl. This lead to me “living the American dream” I already had a house that I’d lived in for a while, but I’d only used it as a medium to throw the next big shin-dig! Now, I wanted to have all kinds of nice things. I’d never had a car that wasn’t almost as old if not older than me! First thing? I bought a car that was 3 years old and had only 1 owner prior. Cha-ching. Second, hmmm…this tube TV was getting annoying, time for a 46″ Plasma (which no one needs in their bedroom), new bedroom furniture, new clothes, jewelry, shoes, purses, new hair, and the list goes on. Yet somehow, I really wasn’t “happier” than I was 5 years earlier sleeping on someone’s couch. I though by having all these things and being “successful” I’d be on top of the world!

Let this lead us back to the recent past (a week ago :)) and my “a-ha” moment. Upon my discovery of meditation and seeking out my hidden inner strength, I realized, all of these “things” didn’t really MEAN anything! I’d always found myself at my happiest when I had another person to help, when I was spending time with my family, or when I was learning something new that I had a passion for! Sure, it’s nice to have “stuff”, but I don’t need to be working 80 hour work weeks, stressed to the max to get all this “stuff” that doesn’t even mean anything. Is my “stuff” really going to provide fulfillment? If the electricity goes out, what good is this “stuff”? “Stuff” doesn’t give me a lasting sense of accomplishment, and “stuff” doesn’t appreciate how hard I work. “stuff” doesn’t give back, it usually just costs me more. If I’ve never gone out and experienced life and learned how to survive, or appreciate the things around me, I’ve got NOTHING. I decided that instead of working myself to death for all of these worthless things I wanted to go out and experience life on life’s terms. I wanted to become aware of my inner self, while becoming more aware to the world around me. The real world, not this gilded mess of the everyday scramble for the newest iPhone. I started looking at programs to volunteer in southern Asia doing humanitarian work. Before I finish my tale, let me take a paragraph pause to be more clear about my statement on “stuff”…

Ahem. Please do not take what I am saying about “stuff” as a call to action to abandon all electronics and move barefoot to the wild with no soap or cell phone service *gasp*. I’m merely saying that the pursuit of “bigger, better, faster” things, has left us empty shells of the fulfilled individuals we could TRULY be! I love having the ability to ask a question, and immediately google it, do some research and find an answer or using anyone of various social networking sites to share ideas. My car? It’s AWESOME for road trips! Windows down, taking in the scenery. My TV, awesome for watching documentary’s and 30 Rock! My point is that we work for all these things and we miss out on the bigger picture. Am I going to ditch all my toys and move to the desert? No! But do I NEED all these things? When I’m laying on my death-bed, thinking about my life, I want to smile and be at peace because I know I did my part in bettering everyone and everything I came into contact with. Not feel sad, or disappointed in myself because I wasted my entire life on a paper chase and never stopped to smell the proverbial roses. So now that we know I’m not trashing running water, end pause.

Here comes the good stuff. I am all pumped about my decision to go forth, spread good will, and become a better person. Totally re-dedicated my life to traveling on the overgrown path and discovering what’s been hidden on it for so long. I’m REALLY excited, I imagine that the positive energy overflowing inside me is making the air around me static. I’m overwhelmed with purpose and desire to experience as much as I can! One would imagine that this would be met with encouragement and positive reinforcement. “Go get ’em!”, “Awesome decision, you’ll be great”, “that’s really cool, good luck, be sure to write!”…no such luck. My first reaction was that I must be crazy, “What about your job? What are you going to do when you get back? You’re going to have to start over!”—–START OVER—— Start what over? Start building my material empire again? I am seeking employment in the areas I want to learn from first and I feel will have the biggest impact! I anticipate my return will find my friends all still my friends and my family will still love me, so I don’t know what I’m starting over? Another reaction, “You sound like some kind of hippie, and I think you’re making a big mistake. You’re going to hate it.”—Hate what? Hate traveling? Hate experiencing new things? Hate learning about different cultures and ways of life? Hate helping people? The only thing that might be uncomfortable is being away from my family, but there are some things even they can’t teach me. Various other responses included, “That sounds really dumb”, Why would you want to go to some poor country?” “You’re probably going to get killed”, “Why would you want to leave America?” “You’re going to start saying the voices in your head want you to do other things”, “You won’t last long, you’ll be back wishing you still had all of your stuff” “You’re only saying you want to do these things now because you feel financially secure”, and some other things about conspiracy theories and thinking the government is evil, blah blah. Why were they trying to put me back INTO the box? Much to my dismay, I was met with few words of encouragement. Luckily, I have a pretty awesome sister ;)who said she thought it was awesome that I was living out my dreams and had a plan to do so! She’s always got a good word, and while it sucks no one else really has my back, I don’t NEED anyone to have my back. I know what I’m doing is right, at least for myself🙂 I plan on having a job and saving my money so I can continue to travel, and I want to give back monetarily when I can. I can only attempt to explain that “stuff” doesn’t matter to me anymore, I’m thinking outside the box. This box that, since I was little I’ve been made to think, needs to be filled with a bigger house, nicer yard, and a deeper pool. The box is just too small. The thought of a 73′ 3D TV, 36 pairs of shoes, 6 cars just doesn’t leave any room for me in that box. I don’t think any less of the people who are breaking their backs for the next big thing, but I gotta get away. So I’m leaving my box behind, and I’m going for a more spherical container, namely the one we live on.

Forever Seeking,

Ellie

Here we go!

Hi! I’m happy to see that you’ve stumbled upon my blog. Welcome to, what I hope will be, an amazing journey. It’s only been about a week so far and it’s absolutely astonshing what I’ve accomplished. Let me start from the beginning…*queue weird warpy music and the liquid-y time reverse thing*

One week ago today I happened to be on youtube just checking out the new Beyonce song “1+1” (which I love btw) and I happened to look at the comments, I was bombarded with a bunch of claims stating that she was Illuminati and demonic and all kinds of things. I’m not a conspiracy theorist and in my opinion, if Illuminati existed in that capacity, I seriously doubt the public would have any idea. Anyway, I was bored so I googled Beyonce Illuminati, which led me to the vigilant citizen website, like I said…I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but I was bored so I read his/her (I have no idea just happened across, no offense to whomever it is) opinion of the translation of the music video. I was actually almost laughing, but, the symbolism for some reason seemed interesting. I mean, who read/watched The DaVinci Code and wasn’t absolutely fascinated? So, naturally, I googled occult symbolism, this made for an interesting read for probably close to 3 hours, where it eventually led me back to a subject I’ve LONG been interested in, which is Buddhism. Buddhism led to meditation. I had never tried to meditate before, nor had it even crossed my mind in the past, but for some reason, this time, this day, I decided to learn more about it, and possibly try it out for myself. My good friend google was right there to help me out with this as well, so “meditation” went in the search bar and the Silva Method popped up. I vaguely remembered something about it, and I had read about a few other ways, but this caught my attention (I assume from my brain remembering it from something in passing). Fast forward 24 hours, by this time I had read about various forms of meditation and relaxation and hypnotism and methods to reach a state of mind where one can alter their life by altering their thoughts. Let me digress for just a moment and explain that in the past I had heard about this “believe it achieve it” “secret” stuff and ability to use consciousness to change things and immediately thought it was a crock. However, in the past year I’ve been drawn to quantum physics and learning about the vibrations of the cosmos and that everything is connected (string theory, M-theory, wiki/google all that stuff it’s FASCINATING!), that being said, the idea of one consciousness and being able to tap into that in my own self sounded AWESOME (and now believable)! So back to the Silva Method…I have a self-diagnosed, over-active brain,🙂 meaning, basically, I’m constantly thinking about at least 75 things at once (which, on a sidenote, means I speak incredibly fast and tend to tell the end of a story first and then keep backtracking, here you have a prime example, but bear with me) so I didn’t think I was a good candidate for meditation. However, the more I read about the Silva Method, it’s guided meditation, and the use of the binaural waves, it seemed like it just might work, so I did what any person seeking enlightenment in 2011 would do, I looked for the app . That night, I got comfy in what I can only describe was the stereotypical movie meditation stance, put on my headphones, and proceeded with the “Goodnight Meditation”. One would think I stood up 30 minutes later feeling refreshed, relaxed, and ready for a good nights sleep…and one would be wrong. It hadn’t worked! I had tried my hardest, and really thought I was doing everything right, I thought I felt something, but I couldn’t visualize anything, and I certainly still felt my feet. Feeling slightly discouraged, but more determined than ever to figure out a way to tap into my hidden energy source, I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning when my alarm clock went off. Wait, WHAT? I woke up WHEN my ALARM went off? I ALWAYS wake up sometime in the middle of the night, and when my alarm goes off, I hit snooze for like an hour! Did I really just sleep a full night’s sleep and wake up fully rested? Yes sirs and madams, I most certainly did! My goodness, I had a smile on my face and decided to try the “Good Morning Meditation”. It could’ve been wishful thinking (well, isn’t that what it is anyway? Positively pushing your inner desires into being :P) but I thought it might have worked a little! I was feeling refreshed, relaxed, and ready to continue my work day. That evening, I decided I would try the “Centering” excercise instead of the “Goodnight” track and I can only attempt to put into words the experience I had! The feeling of “being” and the interaction with myself. While being guided in the Alpha state, I felt such a peace, an understanding, a relaxation, and a connection. My physical body and spirit seemed to be separate, but even more connected than ever. The positive energy I released literally felt like electricity flowing through my entire body. When I returned from the Alpha state, I rushed to hug ANYONE in my house I could find in hopes they could get some of that good feeling (spreading the positive vibes, man)! I still don’t know WHY it works, I only know THAT it works, and after using the Silva Method for about 4 days, I’m able to get into the Alpha State and use other methods of meditation without the binaural clicking. I still use the Silva Method, and it will most likely be my go to for a while, there is so much to learn, and I’ve only been doing this a week🙂

Here we are back at today, over the course of the last week I had also been doing some research on humanitarian volunteer programs and seeking out employment with various humanitarian organizations. This is when I received probably my 3rd email from “Laura” associated with the Silva Method. I noticed it said Mindvalley at the bottom, curious as I am, I decided to check that out, it was a link, and I like to click stuff. I happened across, what could literally be the threshold to fulfilling what I believe my purpose to be. An “Awesometastic” place to work, in an area I feel drawn to. I’m riding this

cosmic wave and may it crash right on their doorstep!

Oh, and to answer that question about what my purpose is? Well I’ve been living it out on a much smaller scale for as long as I can remember, but it’s time to “super size”!

My new motto in life: “I will help others find the inner light in whatever form it comes to them. I will lift others up whenever possible, but when it is not, I will not push them down. I will proudly display my love for life and radiantly share the beauty I’ve found within myself. I will learn as much as I can, but I won’t retain the “trash” that belongs in the can. I will never stop asking questions. I’ve been a rockstar my whole life, called a rockstar for the past 11 years of this wonderful life, and will rock harder and harder everyday in every way until this life is complete!”

This might sound awesome to some of you, ridiculous to a few, and downright crazy to the rest, but guess what I say? If you have a passion for something, go for it! For all we “know” we only live once😉

Forever Seeking,

Ellie

***Tomorrow I will reveal the reaction of my family and friends to my life-changing decision to pursue employment abroad and revelation of my desire to experience life on a much grander scale than 73″ 3D TV’s, and all-inclusive resorts in tropical locales***